Let's See....Oh Right, Today Was Awesome.

Beyonce and lovely ladies of Destiny's Child said it best when they said, "I don't think you're ready for this jelly." Well, we're not talking jelly here, folks. We're talking about a day that could go down as the most chaotic of all time.

Truly.

Let me take you back to Friday afternoon.....(insert harp strums)

It's Friday afternoon. I've had approximately 15 conference calls and an iced latte with three shots of espresso.

(that's enough for a straight-up disaster right there)

I was on fire at work. I was zinging people in emails. I was multitasking at every moment. I was making decision after decision. I wasn't taking anything from anybody. I think I wrote and sent at least 439 emails in a four-hour window.

I'll call it, my caffeine-induced tirade.

Anyway, after I came off my high (read: crashed) I spoke with one of our great friends who live in PC Beach. She's a wildly talented makeup artist/mom and he's a former model turned entrepreneur. (They'll love those descriptions. Mostly because they're true, but also because they're being mentioned in my wildly popular blog.)

Wildly popular with Casey, Caryn and Amanda.

Whatever.

Anyway, we haven't seen Pat and Vettie in a while. Mostly because they live an hour and a half from us and she works in Destin and he works in the PC Beach/So Wal area. We used to see them a lot. Before we both had toddlers.

Ah yes......those days.

I adore my daughter, by the way.

So we made plans to meet up on Saturday (today) for a family fun day. We planned to meet at this cool indoor playground at 11:00 est. Well, after those plans were made, I remembered I was supposed to help my grandmother at 10:00. I thought that I could just tell her, "Hey, we're meeting some friends over in PC Beach so I won't be able to help you today."

HA!

Me not helping her was NOT an option. And that's ok. She's my grandmother and I'd do anything for her. So I texted famous friends back to postpone the meeting time by an hour and a half.

Fine.

No problem.

One of Celie's most favorite things is pancakes. Sarah decided to take her to McDonald's to get an order of their pancakes. So they leave to go do that. Keep in mind, it's about a 12 minute drive to McDonald's from my house. I asked Sarah to get me something too since it's been about 2 months since I've had anything for breakfast from McDonald's. Forty minutes later, they get back. You see, our McDonald's is managed/run by people whose brain power matches that of a bottle of goat's milk. Sarah starts pulling everything out of the bag including the pancake box.

Which contained no pancakes.

Considering she's in her final two weeks of pregnancy, this didn't go over well and I immediately jumped in my car to go pick them up. I mean, my little girl wanted pancakes. We paid for pancakes. She's gettin' some pancakes. On the way, I discover that my tire has a leak and I had no quarters to get any air.

(air should be free.)

So we finish breakfast and Sarah decides to come along and bring Celie and use the pool while I help G-ma. (Harmless plan, right?) So we get there at a little after 10:00. Pool is locked with a combination lock and chain. (I mean, come on.) I drive to G-ma's house in her car to get the key to her community pool. Drive back to where I was helping her, give Sarah the key and off she and Celie go. By this time, it's 11:00. I call Sarah at 11:30 and tell her to make her way back to the house because I would be ready to leave shortly.

She gets back to the house with a fully dressed and ready Celie and a bathing suit clad, towel-wrapped and wet Sarah. Sarah goes to change in the outdoor shower area.

LOCKED WITH ANOTHER LOCK.

I say, "just get in and you can change in the car on the way. We'll be in the middle of no where in a minute anyway." She wasn't too keen on the idea, but got in anyway.

I'd like to remind everyone at this point that Sarah is NINE MONTHS PREGNANT, Celie should be eating lunch in thirty minutes and taking a nap by 1:00.

Part of my plan was that Celie would be tuckered out at the pool and would sleep on the way to PC Beach and by the time she woke up, we'd be there.

I love a good plan.

(side note, I love a good plan that works.)

Off we go. I stop three blocks up the road to get a little gas. I get my gas and pull out. Celie complains that her shorts are too tight (a common occurrence these days.) I pull over and take off her shorts.

Celie falls asleep by the time we get onto the Air Force Base. No one is around and Sarah starts to change. (This is really funny by the way.) Cars are approaching. Sarah is so fed up that she doesn't even attempt to cover up so there are about four families from Alabama who got a real treat today.

Celie wakes up coughing and can't get situated again and starts crying. A lot. Complains of something in her car seat. I pull over when we get off base at the first bank I see. I take Celie out of the car seat, make sure her panties are halfway up her hiney (which they were) and re situate her in the seat.

She's still crying. It's all because she should be sleeping at this point.

(who's idea was this anyway??????)

Celie begins to complain of her stomach hurting and needs to "go poo poo in the potty." I make a complete detour to our local Target. I pull up to the side of Target. Sarah gets out and gets half-naked Celie out of the car seat. She puts her in the front seat to put on different shorts. Meanwhile, I don't have the car in park so I can't really move. Not one, not two, but about three gusts of wind come and blow Sarah's dress up each and every time.

It's awesome.

She takes Celie in who refuses to use it because there are too many people. I texted our friends to let them know that we're going to be an extra thirty minutes late because we weren't even close yet.

Celie continues to cry the entire way to the playground, but when we got there, miraculously, everything was ok. The playground was fun and new and very nice. It had about six huge inflatable jumpers and obstacle courses in there and for only $5.00, who wouldn't love it? So Celie jumps and plays with her friend Cooper, Pat and Vettie's son. We decide that it's time to go have lunch and off we drive to the local Red Robin.

Yummmmmmmmmmm (like the commercial.)

It's packed. The kids are cranky. Sarah's cranky. We walk in to behold THE GIANT ROBIN MASCOT. The kids freak but are intrigued. They both got bouncy balls at the playground that are dropping all over the place and bouncing up to heaven and back. Well, we put our names down and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

We finally got a booth.

A booth that was directly under the largest a/c vent in America. Pat thinks he might come down with pneumonia because of all the direct wind. And I mean WIND. Sarah goes to use the restroom (shock) and almost falls down because the floors are so slippery with no signage.

I then take Celie to the restroom who, in fact, falls three times because of the floors. We finish our meal, say goodbye to our friends and go to take Celie to ride the merry-go-round. I am carrying Celie because we're in a very busy parking lot and step off the curb unexpectedly and totally throw my back out.

After that little ride on the merry-go-round, which was just next door, we head home. Celie falls asleep before we even pull out of the parking lot. She sleeps almost the entire way home until she shifts too hard and wakes herself back in the Air Force Base.

And cries.

And whines.

And cries.

It takes four forevers to get through all the beach traffic, but finally....

BUT FINALLY.

We made it home.

Celie all of a sudden is a joy! Happy, giggly, ready to play. I can barely walk. Sarah can barely walk. (Did I mention that on Friday, Sarah found out she has a bladder infection/UTI?????) We put Celie down for bed and I start to feel sick to my stomach. Like I'm going to puke.

But I don't.

Instead I write this AMAZING blog.

Don't you wish you would have gone with us today?

It was the best idea EVER!!!!

However, we did have a great, GREAT time with our friends and we'd do it all over again tomorrow.

I think.....