Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Living In Your Dreams

I dream a lot. My dreams are very, very vivid and I can remember a lot about them. Some people think that's weird. I don't. It's always been that way for me. I have some of the craziest dreams ever too. I mean, some of them are OUT THERE.

I also have a lot of day dreams. Not a lot like, "I can't ever get anything done", but I can easily put myself in a whole different world with just the process of thought. It's quite amazing really. Normally, my dreams and day dreams usually start off with me singing on a stage and it goes from there. I know I can always find a happy place if I start things off with me singing.

I don't think I've ever really talked about it a lot, but I am absolutely mesmerized by music. I love it. I love everything about it. I could preview CD's all day everyday. I could read sheet music all day everyday. It's crazy and it's what I want to do for a "living".

I don't think I'm star quality by any chance - not at all. I don't even want to be "a star". I want to lead worship at a church. I don't think I've ever truly confessed that before. That's what I want to do. I want to immerse myself into church music (my favorite kind). I've always loved it - always. During my early 20's I was a heavily involved member at Olive Baptist Church in Pensacola, FL. Oh how I miss that church. Dr. Ted Traylor is the pastor there and I've never heard anyone like him. He's different. He has a different way about him from other pastors. You never know if you're going to get the emotional heart-tugging sermon or the Hell fire and brimstone. That's what I loved about him. That is where my desire to be in music was started. I was involved in every aspect of that music ministry: choir, praise team, children's music, VBS, etc. It was hard. Praise Team was so demanding too and I loved every minute of it.

Fast forward four years and I'm at Long Avenue Baptist Church. I love it there too. It's insanely smaller than Olive but most churches are. In one service, Olive could easily have 7,000 members present. And there were two services mind you. I've been leading the music at LABC for over a year now. As a paid staff member for four months. Our church is not wealthy by any means and I know there is NO WAY I could be full-time here as my "salary" is $75 per week, lol. Though I would love to be. It's just expensive to live here when you own a home. Insurance and taxes eat you alive. $800 more each month added on to your mortgage thank you very little.

I really need to blog about the first year of my worship leading experience and where it's brought me. I don't have time to do that now, but I will. I am not a minister BY ANY MEANS, but I could so be a Music Director or Worship Leader (something else I love). I don't have a degree from a seminary. I have no theological scholastic experience. I don't have a degree in church music or worship, but.....neither did any of the disciples, right? I know in today's world you almost HAVE to have one.

Anyway, that's what I want to do with my life. I want to be a Music Director for a church. I have officially confessed it to God too. So we'll see. Not trying to be negative, but I don't see it happening any time soon. You never know. There's a lot that would have to would HAVE to be a complete miracle....something else I believe in. LOL.

I know this post doesn't really mean anything to anyone but me, but that's ok, it's what I'm feeling at the moment.