Friday, June 20, 2008

Haven't Met Lilly?

Forgive the delay in a new post. Work life has been insane.

We have a dog. Her name is Lilly. She is quite possibly the cutest dog in the entire world. We love her to death. She has recently celebrated her third birthday so she's a "big girl" now. She is also very bad. Not bad like, she poops and pees in the house (well, she does seem to always poop in my moms house, we're not really sure why that happens but it does - however, she does not poop in our house). She is just mischievous bad. She will steal things out of the bathroom garbage cans, she will bark at something if it's "unusual", she takes up the ENTIRE bed and she toots a lot. She's one mischievous little dog.

You can always tell when she has something she knows she's not supposed to have because once she gets it, she goes racing across the wood floor in our house into the guest room most of the time. When you see her fly by, you know you should probably go check on her. She does it as if she thinks we don't notice that she's literally sprinting across our house. This is mostly typical with empty toilet paper rolls, a first love of hers to fish out of the garbage.

She does this same trick with her food. Her food is in the very back of the house in the utility or laundry room. She will get ONE MORSEL and sprint into the dining room, lie on the rug and eat this one morsel. Only if she's REALLY hungry will she stay and eat over her bowl. Nuts-o!

Now keep in mind, she has never destroyed anything of rug (and we have several), no shoes, nothing....she's always been quite good in those departments. However, she was clearly possessed yesterday as I caught her in the act of numero uno violation.

Sarah was feeding Celie and I was eating a delicious dinner of BBQ ribs - yum. I eat first because Sarah always wants to feed Celie and when I'm done I take over and Sarah eats. This is a simple system that will so be over because Celie is about to begin cereal and she will eat when we eat. Anyway....I was eating and Sarah went to put Celie under her mobile which she is completely in love with. I went to watch her kick, squirm and wiggle like a sprayed roach under the mobile. When I came back, the infamous Lilly was treating herself to a BBQ rib on our dining room rug!!!!

I have never seen anything like it. She is not a beggar at the table as that is the most important "manner" I wanted her to have. If you sit at the table, she goes and lies down. I'm proud of her for that. When I walked into the room, I was dumbfounded!!!! I didn't know what to say!! I was instantly angry because I was really hungry and those ribs are awesome and there is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel gorging herself out on one. Of course, all I said was NO! and picked up the rib (I was temped to still eat it but I didn't). I threw it in the garbage in complete astonishment still. I turn around and, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, jumped back into my chair.

OH NO MA'AM!!!!! No one is messing with my BBQ. Ask Sarah, she once got her hand stabbed for reaching onto my plate. I immediately screamed at her and snatched her by the scruff and sorta threw her onto the floor and began to ask her questions she couldn't answer like:
  • "What the crap are you doing?"
  • "Have you lost your mind today?"
  • "Why do you think that was a good idea?"
  • "Are you happy with yourself?"
  • "You know you're allergic to protein, why would you choose to do this?"

I said all of these to her in a matter of 15 seconds and she just stared at me with her head tilted to the side like always, immediately distracted by Celie's squealing in the other room. It's clear that I need to call Cesar Milan, Dog Whisperer. I mean, I don't want to injure Lilly, but if you mess with my food, I can't guarantee what might happen.

She's been a little "off" since Celie's been home. I'm sure this is some sort of behavioral reaction to the change and the fact that our attention is now almost completely focused on our daughter. Not to worry though, Lilly still gets her one-on-one time when Celie is asleep - which is a lot.

I paid a mint fortune for Lilly and she has the characteristics of nothing more than a standard hound dog. She wants to lick you all in the face, especially if you've been sweating which is 90% of the time if you live here. She eats her "friend's" poo. By friend's I mean this bunny that visits our yard every morning and evening. She chases bugs in hopes of catching them to eat. She rummages through the trash like those people who were on Oprah who got everything out of the trash. She has allergies so she's always itching. Do you see what I mean?

But despite all this, she is the best little pup around and I love her to death. She's going to make a great big sister to Celie. She's really started interacting with her now that Celie is becoming more mobile. I can't wait to see how their relationship develops.

You have to meet Lilly if you ever come to Port St. Joe......she'll lick you and possibly steal something from you.

We love you Lilly!!!!!! You bad girl!