Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Did You Hear About the Morgan's? Oh, you didn't? Well, good for you!

I don’t really know what’s happened in the movie world recently, but I do know I don’t like it. Maybe it’s my decision-making abilities. Maybe it’s the Movie Gallery in my town. Maybe you can never take someone else’s recommendations on movies.

Whatever it is, it needs to stop.

We don’t get to see a lot of movies in the theater because the only theater we’ll go to is about one and a half hours away. Those are special nights. Therefore, we rent a lot. (which technically isn’t that big of a deal because the turnaround time from theater to shelf is so short now.) The last movie we saw in the theater was The Blind Side, which I loved. I thought it was a great, great, movie. Loved it. And we’ll definitely own it.

I haven’t had the same luck with the rentals, but I have to say, I’m glad I didn’t see the movies I rented in the theater or I would have been one angry individual. You see, here’s the thing. We subscribe to the “power play” at Movie Gallery. It’s $15 a month and I think you can rent three or four movies during the month. It’s super quick and easy too. Just walk in, they scan the movie you selected, you walk out. No receipt, nothing to sign, easy.

We’d been given some recommendations on some “cute” movies recently and so we’ve rented most of them. Herein lies the problem. I’d now like to share with you these movies which accounted for six hours I’ll never get back.


Did You Hear About the Morgan’s – starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant. You probably had no idea this was a romantic comedy with these two actors. It’s becoming more and more clear to me that when actors need a little cash, they’ll just hop on any project, because there’s no way either of them can look back and say, “wow, that was awesome” because it had to be the WORST. MOVIE. EVER. So predictable and stupid and so not real. You know, successful attorney, successful Real Estate broker both working and making tons of cash in NYC. Currently separated because of infidelity. They witness a murder and are carted off to Wyoming to be in witness protection where they fall back in love. In a word, gag.

New in Town – starring Rene Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr. This could be the saddest, slowest, stupidest movie around. Rene is a high-powered executive in Miami. Harry is a Union Rep for a plant in Minnesota. Renee temporarily relocates to modify the plant where she completely insults Harry at their first meeting, only not knowing he was the union rep she was about to negotiate the union contract with. Big city girl meets country boy. They fall in love. In a word, gag.

The Invention of Lying – starring Ricky Gervais and Jennifer Garner. In a world where no one ever lies, ever, Ricky figures out how to and changes his life by way of lying. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. In a word, gag.

It’s clearly our inability to select decent movies. Sarah doesn’t do “action”, I DO NOT EVER DO “horror.” So we have to stick with drama, comedy and romantic comedy. I noticed Precious, Up in the Air and The Hurt Locker were all available for rent. Granted movies I like and movies that win Oscars never match.

Has anyone seen a great movie we need to see? (as a note, I don't do vampires.)