The Birds!

I live in Florida. A fount of all things wildlife. I live in a county that is also very "live." Our bay is live, our forests are live, our skies are live - just all very live.

It's nothing to drive to work and see any of the following: deer, hogs, coyotes, opossums, raccoons, bears, rabbits, squirrels, armadillos, turkey vultures.....

you get the idea. There's stuff everywhere.

However, there's a strange phenomenon happening at my office involving all avian creatures. You see, there's an enormous tower in our back parking lot. It's directly in front of my window, just quite a few feet away from it. It's becoming a landing perch for the birds.

And I don't mean like two or three birds.

I'm talking dozens upon dozens of birds. The tower appears to be some sort of haven or sanctuary for the birds. I suppose it's like a nice Borders or a cozy street cafe where people scope out the best seating and hover around until they can snag it from you and claim it as their own. For many days now, the tower has been COMPLETELY COVERED with turkey vultures from 8:00-8:45 and then from 4:00-5:00. It's weird. There are dozens of them.

I think the turkey vulture is sorta like the common criminal or thug. They're kinda loners until one of them has something the other one wants. Then the whole posse turns up to get a piece then they all go their separate ways. They're bullies. They're ugly and they poop everywhere (I'm not sure that criminals poop everywhere, but you know what I mean.) There's a big circle of poop in our parking lot because of them. I don't know why they have scheduled times for meeting at the tower. It's like they're going to talk about their day, then they come back for a quick re-cap and discussion on their take-aways. I don't like them. They don't trust anyone and they're so skittish.

Recently, the tower has become desired by these little finch birds. At least, I think that's what they are. They're little and they're cute and they hop around everywhere. They fly around together in huge flocks/swarms. These little birds are your "town liberals." They're always in groups, always chirping, always demonstrating, always getting in others' business. And they're really funny to watch. They totally whipped up on the turkey vultures the other day took over the tower. Now, never mind that I saw one dead yesterday with guts hanging out. Not sure what happened there. Perhaps it was an Al Qaeda bird? Nonetheless, they are the current owners of the tower. And I sorta like it that way.

Then we have the dove. Doves? Dove? Is it like deer? Whatever. They're really never on the tower. They're always on my window sill. I sorta classify them as the "moms" of the bird world. Soccer moms, yes that's it. They're soccer moms. They're always pruning and fixing themselves. They're are always two or three of them together. They're cute. Noisy when necessary and a nice shade of gray. On my parent's property, they always hang out in between our homes and literally give me a heart attack when they fly off. How do they make so much noise???? I almost get diarrhea every time. Seriously. Every time.

Sea gulls. Parents and in laws of the bird world. These birds know no boundaries. They aren't really intimidated by anyone and they get all up in your business. They take what they want without asking and you always know they're around.

(There is no correlation between these birds and my parents or in laws. No sir. Not one. Just to set the record straight. I mean, sure my mother broke into my house on Monday with my child and stole about $14 in groceries, but I mean, she offered to pay for them.)

Did I mention that these birds squawk and squawk. I love it when the tourists come here and think..."Oh honey, this will be cute. Let's feed the little bird a piece of bread!" And then you know what happens? It looks like a scene from a Hitchcock movie. There are like a million birds everywhere. You can't escape!!! They're dive-bombing you left and right and circling you like you owe them something. Not to mention they have weird webbed feet that totally gross me out. And they harass one another.

(This has been intriguing, no?)

Life is so easily comparable to bird world. Really this post was going to be about the vultures and my tower and how I'm like 16% scared to go to my car when I get off because I think one might attack me. Those things are so gross. But it has turned into a sociological comparison of human interaction.

And birds.

Which totally freak Sarah out.

Birds.

You're welcome.