I know it stinks working on Saturdays when the weather is nice and people are busy and out-and-about. I did for a really long time working retail with the Gap, so I get it. What I don't get, however, is how you have such a horrible, insufferable attitude.
I mean, typically, when I ask someone a question in a retail store like: "Hey, do you happen to have _____.", my expectation is one of the following answers:
1) "Actually, yes we do. It's over on aisle 5 next to the glue gun refills."
2) "I think so, let's go double check just to make sure."
3) "You know what, I think I just sold the last one to that lady over there."
4) "No, I'm sorry, we don't carry that product, but a great alternative is our ____."
5) "Hmmm, let me go look, although, I feel like we don't carry that."
6) "Actually, we don't carry it, but I think Hobby Lobby does."
What I don't expect is this answer:
1) "I don't know" (said in a very, I-can't-believe-you're-asking-me-to-give-you-my-liver kinda way.)
So, perhaps you should go work somewhere that doesn't require you to interact with humans, especially those of us who may have a question or two from time to time. Perhaps a morgue?
Though it's none of my business, I would try really hard to fix your attitude. I've developed a list of steps to take:
1) Try removing at least eight of the ten rings you're wearing on your fingers. Maybe you're just bloated and your fingers hurt so you're taking it out on us.
2) Perhaps some of the ten pounds of frosty-blue eye shadow fell into your eye. For future reference, I hear that natural shades don't sting as badly.
3) The ever-important set of keys on the plastic, stretchy, coil thing could be too tight on your arm and cutting off some of the circulation. I know that must smart. Try a carabiner that hooks onto your belt loop like all self-respecting retail associates.
4) Your headache (which is tension related no doubt) could probably be remedied by removing your glasses whose lenses could double as pasta bowls.
5) I understand your feet hurt. I understand Reebok was probably one of the premiere manufacturers of shoes, however, the double-velcro-around-the-ankles, solid white, no arch supports could be the cause of a lot of that. I recommend removing those.
While I realize once I discovered your disdain for human life, I probably caused you some unnecessary grief. For that, I wish to apologize. I apologize for:
1) Making you ring up my purchases as six separate transactions so I could use all six coupons, pay cash for some and debit, that I cancelled for credit so I could earn points from Tyndall Federal Credit Union, for others.
2) Making you walk two aisles over to unlock the sacred locked cabinet where all the "expensive" craft supplies are and then deciding that I didn't want it at the last minute.
3) Asking you if you had a specific product and it being such a complicated question that you had to use the intercom to ring for assistance. However, I can tell that you really enjoy using the intercom so you can spread your joy throughout the walls of Michaels.
4) Giving you grossly incorrect coins to make my change come back even more strange.
5) My daughter who apparently stole a .99 rubber stamp of a penguin holding an ice cream cone. Had I seen it before we got home, I would have gladly brought it back into the store and asked you to put it away for us.
I hope the next time we meet, you're in a better mood. Actually, the next time we meet, I hope you're standing on the double yellow lines.....I kid, I kid......sort of. I know that it's completely crazy that stores expect you to have a good attitude, so kudos to you for bucking that system!! Please understand that I only have the best intentions for you.
I wish you the best of luck and that promotion to floral arrangements!
Peace out!
9 comments:
Thank you and thank you.
If only she would have recognized me from a few weeks ago as "that young lady that is probably trying to 'steal' paper by telling you it is currently half off at Hobby Lobby without having the sale in my hand."
Excuse me for thinking that a competitor would *gasp* have the sale ad on hand to check prices if it is a common practice to believe that all shoppers are trying to dupe you into thinking Hobby Lobby is running a sale on the questionable items right now.
Excuse me for finding it rude that you ask me to drive over to Hobby Lobby, get a sale paper, drive back to Michael's, and present you with the ad to your face. A simple call to Hobby Lobby "would not do" because I "could be calling anyone just SAYING they are Hobby Lobby so I could get my paper 1/2 off."
Excuse me for assuming that since you work in the PUBLIC, you should know how to talk to them.
Clearly, shoppers are nothing but a burdon, that happen to pay your check.
Fun day at Michaels, eh!? Should have just gone to Hobby Lobby... ;)
We find sales people and/or waiters/waitresses like the woman you encountered a lot here in Gainesville. Most of them are students who don't plan to make a career out of their current job. In my opinion, they could at least practice people skills on the way to their life long careers.
Loved the blog--too funny--but I too get very annoyed at sales "help"???? I really like it when they are on their cell phones texting--that sends me thru the roof---people who work in the public really should be people people--you know--how hard is it to be kind??? It is always sorta a challenge to me to make their day even worse by making a smart comment myself--therefore lowering myself to their level--I have learned to do it well--but You Matthew are a funny man and can really do it too--!!!!
I too find it is the younger generation that are only at a job to earn more money for more tatoos maybe???
Mom
Let's face it, we can't all be lovely, witty, smart, ready-to serve-because-we-take-pride-in-our-job-no-matter-how-menial sales asscociates like you and I were. I mean, really, we only played ball in the store when there WEREN'T customers around. :)
I agree with Joy all the way. When you work in a place that the rules are not to be on your cell phone and to wear closed toed shoes why do the younger kids do the opposite?? I can't figure that out. I was raised to follow the rules and thats that!!!! The kids today( some anyway)seem they are above any rules and they do not take their jobs seriously. The way the job market is today I would make sure I did mine well.
Oh dear God, can we get a new one yet????
Hey "BIG" boy how about a new post.
What's the deal, I can't believe you have nothing to say. That would be the first. How about, being in the same house as 2 people with swine flu that would be a good post.
Ay Ay Ay ;)
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