Did You Hear About the Morgan's? Oh, you didn't? Well, good for you!

I don’t really know what’s happened in the movie world recently, but I do know I don’t like it. Maybe it’s my decision-making abilities. Maybe it’s the Movie Gallery in my town. Maybe you can never take someone else’s recommendations on movies.

Whatever it is, it needs to stop.

We don’t get to see a lot of movies in the theater because the only theater we’ll go to is about one and a half hours away. Those are special nights. Therefore, we rent a lot. (which technically isn’t that big of a deal because the turnaround time from theater to shelf is so short now.) The last movie we saw in the theater was The Blind Side, which I loved. I thought it was a great, great, movie. Loved it. And we’ll definitely own it.

I haven’t had the same luck with the rentals, but I have to say, I’m glad I didn’t see the movies I rented in the theater or I would have been one angry individual. You see, here’s the thing. We subscribe to the “power play” at Movie Gallery. It’s $15 a month and I think you can rent three or four movies during the month. It’s super quick and easy too. Just walk in, they scan the movie you selected, you walk out. No receipt, nothing to sign, easy.

We’d been given some recommendations on some “cute” movies recently and so we’ve rented most of them. Herein lies the problem. I’d now like to share with you these movies which accounted for six hours I’ll never get back.

Ever.

Did You Hear About the Morgan’s – starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant. You probably had no idea this was a romantic comedy with these two actors. It’s becoming more and more clear to me that when actors need a little cash, they’ll just hop on any project, because there’s no way either of them can look back and say, “wow, that was awesome” because it had to be the WORST. MOVIE. EVER. So predictable and stupid and so not real. You know, successful attorney, successful Real Estate broker both working and making tons of cash in NYC. Currently separated because of infidelity. They witness a murder and are carted off to Wyoming to be in witness protection where they fall back in love. In a word, gag.

New in Town – starring Rene Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr. This could be the saddest, slowest, stupidest movie around. Rene is a high-powered executive in Miami. Harry is a Union Rep for a plant in Minnesota. Renee temporarily relocates to modify the plant where she completely insults Harry at their first meeting, only not knowing he was the union rep she was about to negotiate the union contract with. Big city girl meets country boy. They fall in love. In a word, gag.

The Invention of Lying – starring Ricky Gervais and Jennifer Garner. In a world where no one ever lies, ever, Ricky figures out how to and changes his life by way of lying. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. In a word, gag.

It’s clearly our inability to select decent movies. Sarah doesn’t do “action”, I DO NOT EVER DO “horror.” So we have to stick with drama, comedy and romantic comedy. I noticed Precious, Up in the Air and The Hurt Locker were all available for rent. Granted movies I like and movies that win Oscars never match.

Has anyone seen a great movie we need to see? (as a note, I don't do vampires.)

Talking to a Turd

And I'm using turd as a noun, not an adjective.

And I'm sorry because turd is such an ugly word.

But using "Talking to a Bowel Movement" just didn't have the same effect.

This is a short story, but it's too funny to pass up. It could be TMI for some, so leave now if you can't handle "bathroom talk." That was your warning.

So, if you're reading Sarah's blog at all you know that we have a potty using fiend in our midst. Celie is sort of obsessed with using the potty.

("I have no idea where she gets her obsessive tendencies from," said the man who has a six-tab excel spreadsheet with six different versions of a choir seating chart for the Easter musical.)

In a later post we'll talk about my other obsessive tendencies like:

• consuming endless amounts of peanut M&M's if they're in my house
• watching, reading or listening to anything that really irritates me, because it irritates me
• constantly monitoring the growth or shrinkage of my belly
• popping whiteheads - I know, I'm sorry
• continuously wondering what I would do if I won $100,000,000.00 - seriously, like thinking about the lot I would buy and the house I would build on it

But we'll do that later. Much, much later.

Later = probably never.

So anyway, Celie now has full use of the potty. Numbers one and two. Which is great. So I get her up this morning (even though the look on her face said, "Why are you in here at 6:30 AM?????" except, because of the wonderful Daylight Savings Time, it was really 7:30) and she mentioned her need to go to the potty. I help her take off her pj's and diaper and off she went into the bathroom. When she made it into the bathroom, I heard her let out an enormous gasp.

Keep in mind Sarah has pretty much trained her to gasp at any and everything. Literally, it's like the biggest gasp ever.

So, of course I became immediately filled with anxiety when I heard the gasp thinking that there was probably a river of pee pee on the floor or on the floor mats and Lilly was probably licking it up. (which was going to make me puke if that was the case and then there would have been two messes to clean up.)

But neither was the case. Whew.

I walked in to see Celie practically head first in the toilet and she was talking up a storm. She heard me walk in and pulled her head out from the toilet and gasped again and said:

"Look daddy, poo poo in the potty!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey poo poo!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey poo poo!!"

We apparently forgot to flush her poo-poo from last night and therefore Celie found a new friend.

So, of course, I overreacted and first thought, "Who forgets to flush poo-poo?"

Parents of a two year old, that's who.

(Why do I keep saying "poo-poo" when I'm not telling the story?)

I continued, "Well, let's flush the poo-poo ok? It's dirty."

Of course Celie had to assist because she loves a good toilet flush - and who doesn't?

"Bye-bye poo-poo," she said and back on to the potty she went. Except when you don't flush poo-poo from the night before, sometimes it likes to hang out a little longer if you know what I mean. This then created another reason for Celie to gasp and say:

"New poo-poo in the potty!!!"

"No, no Celie. It isn't new. It was leftover." (Lord help me!) "It didn't all go down the first time so it's still there."

"OK." she said.

So after she asked me to leave the room ( she really needs her privacy when using the restroom, not sure where she gets that either) which is another favorite pastime, I hear with a grunt, "NNNNeeeewwww pppppoooooooooo-pppppoooooooooo."

And sure enough.

New poo-poo in da house.

Thank you Celie for another action-packed Monday morning.

Sorry if this was a little TMI, but it's a two-year old we're talking about, not a 30 year old.