25 Random Thoughts

I saw this on Facebook and thought it would be fun to do. Listed below are 25 random thoughts of mine:

1. Golden Oreos have changed my life.
2. Self-serving people make me sick.
3. I'm still proud to be an American.
4. I'm truly sorry for all the people at work who recently lost their jobs. We've been there and we know how it feels.
5. Most expensive inauguration to date - how's that for economic stimulation?
6. I'm pretty sure that if I won the lottery I would buy every TV infomercial product.
7. Why do people take the liberty of shortening your name without asking?
8. I want to sit in the middle of a tub of puppies.
9. Do you ever watch the Duggar's on TLC - I am mesmerized and confused and sad and interested and irritated .
10. Exercise is overrated - unless you're fat - like me.....I want cake.
11. Why am I addicted to making bread....actually, why am I addicted to doughs in general?
12. I need to swiffer the floors, but I really don't want to tonight.
13. I will be 30 years old in March. Sorta feels weird. Not in the bad way, just now I feel like I'm really an adult.
14. Kate Gosselin, please, please, please - another hairstyle?
15. I miss the days of church orchestra, then I realize how grateful I am for my Praise Band.
16. I cannot eat at Peppers for a really long time - hi there, meet my friend, the toilet.
17. Sarah has finally reached the point where she has started crying because Celie is almost one. I try to be supportive, but it still makes me laugh.
18. Celie is a mess. She is divalicious.
19. Why do I watch A&E's Intervention? It doesn't always end well.
20. I need new work shoes - a brown and a black, just not on the same shoe.
21. I'm pretty sure I can eat my weight in bacon.
22. Giada De Laurentiis makes me want to blow my brains out.
23. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.......ha, kidding
24. I wish I didn't have a yard to maintain.
25. Dust is an instrument of the devil.

Who Are You?

I happen to love Pottery Barn. Ok, I love everything except for the fact that it is really overpriced for cheaply made furniture, but I've never purchased furniture from PB so I really can't use that as a reason not to love them can I? Anyway, I love them. We get their magazines for PB and PB Kids. Let me just say, I would never pay their price for some of that kid stuff and the people who do need to get off their high horse and stop playing "keeping up with the joneses."

So what do I love more than looking at goods and ideas in the catalogs? Looking at the personal touches. STAY WITH ME HERE! I love to see what has been written on the calendars or on the to-do lists or on the refrigerator shopping list. According to the stagers at PB, the average family's calender should look something like this:

Feb 1 - Order invitations for dinner party (because they're probably so broke they can't pay their phone bill because they're ordering dinner party invitations)
Feb 4 - Dad leaves for Tokyo (every upper-middle class bread winner works abroad - duh!)
Feb 8 - Wine and cheese party at the Smiths
Feb 9 - Lolita's dance recital (or whatever other name is ultra trendy at the moment)
Feb 12 - Tennis lessons with Drake at "the club" (and they always use the quotes)
Feb 14 - Dinner at (enter French Bistro name here) - 7:00 PM
Feb 20 - Shopping with the girls
Feb 21 - Book tickets to Aspen
Feb 22 - Cancel hot stone massage
Feb 23 - Buy standing rib roast for dinner party
Feb 25 - Order flower arrangement for dinner party

My question is......Who are you? Who is the person who has this life? I know, I know, it's the same lady that vacuums the house in wool gabardine trousers, a cashmere cardigan set, grandmother's pearls and patent pumps. She has perfect hair, perfect makeup and perfect kids named Chauncey and Abigail.

So, my absolute favorite thing about PB is looking at these stupid details. Wanna know the second? Looking at the titles of the books and magazines they decorate with. Let me stop and say how OVER the use of books as decorative accessories I am. However, I love to look at their titles. It's always crap like:

• The Louvre
• Dali
• Post Modernists
• Fashion of Coco Chanel
• Yachts and Other Things Rich People Own
• Botticelli and the other great Italian Artists

It sorta makes me crazy. Can't you just picture yourself in your local SAM's Club. "Hey Honey, there's that new coffee table book about all the works of Botticelli. Wanna get it to add to the collection or should we just stick to the list and buy diapers and chicken?" It's so annoying to me.

I've decided these people do not exist. Perhaps they do, but I don't know any of them. If you're my friend and you think you're one of these people and are now a tiny bit irritated that I said I didn't know any of them, get over yourself.

If you are this person or clean your house this way, please leave a comment and tell me. I know you're probably too busy with your riding lessons to look at web blogs, but please let me know you're out there. Otherwise, there's about 350 gay men working for PB who are really upset right about now.